Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
