Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
