I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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