Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
