We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
