drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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