he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
COCAINE IS GR8
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
