I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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