your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
