the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
