You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize