Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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