doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
