just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
