i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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