Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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