She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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