we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
