i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
