I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
