i was born a porn star she said
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
