Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
