I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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