We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
