if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
