I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
