All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
