Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
