I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
