some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I will be naked everywhere
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
