i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I supernannyed him into submission
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
