yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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