Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
