Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
