the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The uberlube is also flammable
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
