My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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