I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
