Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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