All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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