It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
