I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He shit in the fireplace
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
