There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
