I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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