I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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