I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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