Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
