we have pet lesbian snakes
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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