I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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