Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I made him laugh his dick is mine
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
