now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
