i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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